College Search without the Alma Mater
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008Hi there Babs! I’m in quite the quandary here. You see, my parents both went to University of Pennsylvania and have sort of insisted that I’d go there as well. I’ve started my own separate college search, though, and I think that I’d rather find colleges outside of PA that have my major. I know that my folks will be devastated that I won’t be a legacy student at UPenn, but I just don’t care anymore. Is it OK to have these feelings or am I a terrible son?-Reluctant Legacy
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Dear Reluctant,
You are not a terrible son-but it is hard to say no to Mom and Dad, especially when they are going to be footing the tuition bill. You are in a quandary that many students would envy. Being a legacy at an Ivy League university is nothing to sneeze at, but it’s also admirable to forge your own college path.
It seems as though your parents both had incredible college experiences at UPenn and they want to share them with you. I’m assuming your parents met at UPenn, so I bet they are hoping that you’ll have similar luck at college! But if you truly want to go elsewhere then you need to sit down and have an honest talk with your parents.
It’s obvious that your parents want to be a part of your college search, so let them. Ask them what’s so special about UPenn, then try to find those qualities at other schools. Was it the professors? Greek life? The UPenn Quakers? Explain to them that you want to use college as an opportunity to gain new experiences and independence-like moving out of your home state. Have your parents’ search colleges using online college info to find schools outside of PA that remind them of what they loved about UPenn. You don’t have to apply to all their suggestions, but I bet just involving them in your selection process will make put their minds at ease.
Your parents may indeed be devastated that you don’t want to go to UPenn, but they’ll get over it. What they really want most is to see you happy and enjoying your college experience, so do your homework and find colleges that are the best match for your interests.
Good Luck!

















