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Archive for the ‘parents’ Category

College for Students with Learning Disabilities?

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Dear Babs,


When my son was twelve, he was diagnosed with dyslexia and AD/HD. He is on medication and we have been helping him manage his schoolwork and daily stress with lots of coaching, prioritization, tutors, and scheduling. He has good grades and is capable of getting into a good college, but I am worried about his ability to cope when he is out of the house and without our help. Should he apply to a college that specializes in LDs? I don’t want him to go to a “special” school; I want him to have as normal a life as possible.

-Loraine for Learning

Dear Loraine,

Like any parent of college-bound students, you are worried about your child’s abilities to “sink or swim” without your presence and support. However, unlike every other parent, you and your son have special concerns which you need to attend to. Rest assured: you are not alone. Almost 3 million school-aged children in the U.S. have a learning disability or LD. Many of these students will go on to college. Ensuring your son’s own success at college requires some foresight, open communication, and most importantly, trust.
Before I get into some of the resources available to you, I would like to bring up the most obvious one: your doctor. I am assuming, since your son is on medication, that he has a doctor or psychiatrist that is aware of his condition. Talk to him or her and ask their recommendation. They may have some experience with other patients who have faced similar difficulties, and be able to offer you some guidance.

That being said, my hunch is that if your son has been able to manage his LD well enough to get good grades in school, he will be able to succeed at a competitive college. Most colleges have “special services” departments that offer study help, note-taking services, and counselling to help students with LDs cope. Most schools will also offer special consideration to students with diagnosed LDs regarding deadlines and exams. For a list of schools with excellent LD services, go here. Even if you’re son’s dream-school is not on the list, give the school a call and ask what they have to offer. You might find that even schools without official programs will be more than willing to be flexible.

Know that in order to qualify for such services, your son will have to provide documentation of his diagnosis, and that different schools and states have different qualifications for what counts as sufficient proof. He may have to be re-evaluated before he begins school: when in doubt, ask.

There’s a great list of tips for college-bound students with LDs on the website ldonline.org. I think my favorite is to begin preparing for college work now. He should ask his teacher to assign him a long-term independent project that requires him to structure his learning. This will give him practice on the kinds of assignments he will get in college, and he will get this practice while he is at home with you. He can also enrol in a community college class or summer-program at a local university. Again, this is great practice with little consequences. If he stumbles a bit, it does not count towards his GPA or degree. Work with him now to instil the habits that he will need in college. And a little more advice (hey, I’m good at it). Your son is probably pretty good at picking up on your apprehension; if he senses that you don’t think he can “succeed” like everyone else, than he probably won’t think so himself. Let him know you have the highest expectations for his future, and he will most likely be able to meet them.

Good Luck!

-Babs

College Admissions Essay: What’s Your Mom Got to Do With It?

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Dear Babs,

I’m starting to work on my college admissions essay, and I’m concerned. Should I get my mom to look it over? I know some of my friends had their parents practically write their essay and college application, but is that right? I don’t want to cheat, but if everyone else is doing it, I don’t want my essay to suck.

-Authorial Alex

Dear Alex,

Go with your gut instinct. If having your parents write your essay for you seems wrong, it probably is! College admissions officers are looking for your voice, not your mom or dad’s. And want to know a little-known-secret? There’s no guarantee your parents can write better than you can. Unless your mom is a professional essayist, her version is probably going to be on par with yours. You do, after all, take an English class 5 times a week. Compare your experience to writing essays to that of your parents. I guarantee a student is going to have more of a knack for it than an adult who works as an office manager, writing up reports and presentations.

I’ve read some of these ghost-written essays before, and let me tell you, they are rarely any good. They are often stiff and dull. What college admissions officers really look for in an essay is an authentic voice and above all enthusiasm. There is no way your mom is going to get as excited about your track meets, choir practice, or soup-kitchen volunteer work as you do.

Don’t take this to mean that she shouldn’t look it over. Every author needs an editor! Have her check your essay for coherency (make sure it makes sense), cohesiveness (make sure it has a theme, and doesn’t jump around too much), and spelling/grammar. Have her make comments and suggestions. Then decide which ones you want to keep.

When it comes to college admissions essays and college applications, there’s nothing wrong with a second opinion, just make sure that the first one is yours!

Good luck!
-Babs

Is conservatory the right choice for my daughter?

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Dear Babs,music majorMy daughter plays 1st violin in her school’s orchestra, and she is very devoted to music. We have always encouraged this passion, but when faced with the task of choosing a college, we are concerned. While we would love it if she is able to make it as a musician, we know it is not a certain career. She really wants to go to conservatory, but we worry that she will have nothing to fall back on. Are there any schools that excel in music, but offer some other majors as well?

-Conservative about Conservatory

Dear Conservative,

There are plenty of schools that are good at both music and academics. The important thing to distinguish here, however, is the difference between offering a major in music, and a conservatory program. Many schools offer a general major in music history or music theory but with less of an emphasis on musical performance. At a college that offers music as a major, there may be other academic requirements, as well as electives, that do not involve the study of music. Thus students can double-major in music and any other discipline. Some great traditional colleges for music are Yale, Oberlin, NYU, and University of Michigan.

A conservatory, on the other hand, focuses on performance, and most of the program’s credits will be music related. An audition in person or on a CD or DVD is usually required to gain admittance. These rules are general, and there is a lot of overlap, but usually speaking, if your daughter hopes to place in an orchestra after graduating college, she should study at a conservatory.

That does not mean that her options are limited to music alone. There are a few conservatory schools that offer joint-programs with neighbouring universities. Johns Hopkins University and the Peabody Conservatory of Music, Harvard University and the New England Conservatory, and Julliard and Columbia University all have such programs. These joint-degrees are usually highly competitive, and requirements vary. But they could be a great option if your daughter is not only gifted in music, but academics as well.

Look around, and explore your options. Keep in mind that no matter what path she chooses, she may decide she has changed her mind, and transfer. If she opts for the conservatory route, she may later decide that all music, all the time, is too much for her. On the other hand, if she goes to a traditional college, she may decide she misses the training a conservatory program could give her. The main thing is to get her to start thing if music is truly what she wants to do for the rest of her life. If you know any professional musicians yourself, or you can arrange for her to meet some, try and get her to ask them about their own opinion about their career, and how they got there. Listening first-hand to their experiences as musicians and as students of music might really help her in making this tough decision.

Good luck!

-Babs

How do I get my daughter to think about the college search?

Friday, July 17th, 2009

Dear Babs,

My daughter is starting her senior year, and I’m trying to help her get started with her college search. She really hasn’t done too much thinking about it. How should she begin? Is there anything I should look out for? Thanks.

-Hints for Helen

Dear Helen,

Tell your daughter that discovering colleges really begins with discovering herself. It’s important for her to consider what kind of a person she is, what her future goals are, and what kind of environment she likes. Sound a little introspective? It should be. If you’re going to invest in 4 years of education, it better be at a college that suits who she is and what she wants out of life.

Try to get her started with some leading questions. Does she want to live close to home/her friends? Does she consider herself a city-girl, or does she love the outdoors? These questions will help her figure out where to start looking. Whether it’s in the neighbouring town or half-way across the country, it will help her get started.

The next step is to get her thinking about what she’s interested in, and what she might like to study. This is easier said than done. No one expects her to know what she wants to do with the rest of her life at 17, but having an inkling of her interests/talents will certainly help her out. If she absolutely hates math, than anything in the sciences should probably be ruled out. If she is a passionate reporter for her school paper, encourage her to apply to a school with a good communications program.

It can be hard to get a teenager to think about such big questions as “who am I” but it’s vital for their college search (as well as their future). Hopefully with a little prodding, your daughter will reflect on who she is and what she wants, and start to discover colleges are right for her.

Good Luck!

-Babs

About Dear Babs

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

Dear Babs,

Where should I go to College? Should my daughter apply to an Ivy? When should I apply for Financial Aid?

-the Average Joe

Dear Average Joe,dear babs

Dear Babs, CampusCompare’s nationally syndicated advice column, has the answer.

First there came Dear Abby, Ann Landers, Miss Manners. In September 2008, Dear Babs joined their ranks as the new diva of the advice column. “Dear Babs”, CampusCompare’s advice column for the college search, provides millions of college-bound students with the advice on navigating the tricky college selection process.

“Dear Babs” is a nationally syndicated column via the McClatchy network of newspapers reaching a combined distribution in the millions. From the Kansas City Star to the Sacramento Bee, “Dear Babs” answers questions from high school students and parents on finding a best-fit college. Her responses are always informed, honest, and timely-with a bit of wit to boot.

What does “best-fit college” mean, exactly? According to Babs, “Your best-fit college is the college that works with your personality-it’s the kind of place you could see yourself living for four years, and not getting bored. It challenges and excites you, as well as providing you with emotional and academic support throughout your undergrad.”

“Dear Babs” not only provides support for stressed out students, but for their equally-anxious parents. Her advice sets the rumors on college admissions straight to help parents focus on what’s best for their children. Whether offering financial-aid info or moral support, Babs understands parents’ concerns for their children’s education and helps them find the resources to make their son or daughter’s future a success.

Babs also stands out for supporting her reader’s interests beyond the classroom. Websites devoted to such passions as fashion and football , like www.sportsag.com and www.fashionaddict.com are publishing the Dear Babs column, including tips for getting into (or onto) the field. Babs understands that there is no guarantee to a good job in this downturn economy, and the key to success is to do well in a subject-any subject-that interests you.

Look for “Dear Babs” in your local newspaper in the online teen and parent sections, or get the RSS feed here: http://www.campuscompare.com/college-resources/dear-babs/?feed=rss2&p=77

As FAFSA changes, so does your financial aid strategy

Friday, June 26th, 2009

Dear Babs,

I heard all this noise about how the FAFSA has changed. Is it really going to be much easier? What should I know about it? How will it affect how my daughter applies for financial aid?

-Father asking for some advice

Dear FAFSA,

For those of you readers who don’t know, the FAFSA has announced changes to its forms in order to make it easier and more accessible to those in need of Financial Aid. Most significantly, the FAFSA will be cut down from 30 pages to 10. This drastic cut will definitely make filling it out much less time consuming, and less like your 2nd taxes. In addition, students will be able to save the FAFSA form without filling out their parent’s information. Although this info is still required, it will make it easier for students to complete what they can while they wait on their parents to provide them with their financial information.

So what does this mean for you? Well, it basically means 2/3 of this laborious task is no more. The process will be more automated and web-friendly, and more closely compatible to your tax forms. So take a happy sigh of relief, and figure out what to do with 2/3 of the time you WOULD have spent scrambling for obscure financial data. Perhaps a movie?

Good Luck!

-Babs

Take your car to college?

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Dear Babs,
My daughter will be going to UNC in the fall, about a 3-hour drive away from home, and I want to know if I should let her take the car with her to college. It’s just an old used car, but I don’t know if it is necessary or not.

-Vehicular-Particular

Dear VP,
Well, that all depends. UNC is in a very nice college town, small but with plenty to do. The campus itself is pretty enclosed, so most of the social scene will be on campus at frats/sororities, dorms, and sports games.
I honestly doubt that she will need her car on a day-to-day basis, but if she likes to come home often it may be easier than you going there to pick her up. If there is a nearby greyhound bus, that is also an option. Compare the cost of college living with a car on campus, and without a car. Shameless plug: our financial-aid calculator can do it automatically.
It’s not a bad idea to test the waters without a car for one semester. Her first semester at school, she should really be focusing on making friends, getting used to college life, and exploring campus-not going home every weekend (as much as you would like her to). It will be cheaper, and she won’t have to worry about finding parking. Some schools do not let freshmen have cars on campus, so you should definitely contact UNC on-campus housing to see what their policy is. If after one semester, it seems more practical for her to have the car then by all means, let her have it.
Good Luck!
-Babs

How can I protect my LGTB son in college?

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

*In honor of “LGTB Pride Month”, Babs will answer questions on the LGTB college search.

Dear Babs,

My son is starting college in the fall, and I’m worried for his safety. My son is gay, and I’m concerned that there will be homophobia on campus. I’ve heard about gay-bashing and hazing, and I’m worried that he will have a hard time making friends or worse-be assaulted. He said he wants to join an LGTB rights group on campus, but I’m worried that will just invite others to single him out. Is there anything I can do to protect him?

-Protecting Papa

Dear Protecting Papa,

Of course you want to protect your son. Sending your kids off to college for the first time is stressful enough without having to worry about bigotry. However, you shouldn’t be concerned about a campus LGTB rights organization. By joining an LGTB club, he won’t be singling himself out for harassment-he’ll be protecting himself with a group of peers.

Strength is often found in numbers. By joining an LGTB rights group, your son will meet people who know what it’s like to have to deal with other people’s prejudice. He will find support and friendship. Prejudice is never brave-bullies are less likely to pick on someone with a strong support network. Joining an LGTB rights organization is actually possibly the best thing your son can do to protect himself.

One thing you can do is contact the school to see what kind of institutional support the campus offers. Make sure they include the words gay, lesbian, or transgendered in their anti-discrimination policy. See if they offer any LGTB leadership organizations so that your son can learn how to stand up for his rights on campus, even in the face of harassment.

Although there is bigotry, hatred, and violence on college campuses, there is also a wealth of support. Many schools now protect the rights of their LGTB students, rather than ignore them. College is the time that your son should be making friends, learning, and discovering who he is as an adult. You will never be able to shelter your son from all the hatred in the world, but you can show him that he doesn’t need to hide who he is and that he can stand up for his rights.

Good Luck!

-Babs

Can my son apply to college sans stress?

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Dear Babs,
My son, Sam, is going to apply to college in the fall. His school is very competitive, and there is a lot of pressure for students to go to a top-ranked school. I don’t want him to feel to stressed out-I’m more concerned that he gets into a school he likes/ we can afford, than one that is “ranked” well. What can I do alleviate some of the stress he is feeling?
-Sympathy for Sam

Dear Sympathy,
The best thing you can do for your son is just tell him what you have told me. Knowing that you’re not concerned with how prestigious his college is will probably ease his mind. But, in case your words aren’t enough, here are 3 facts on why you should choose a school that’s a good fit for you.
1) Almost 30% of students transfer colleges. That means that millions of students picked their school for the wrong reasons the first time around. If you choose a school that you like, rather than a “name” school, you can avoid transferring.
2) Don’t let numbers fool you. There is little evidence that starting salaries and hiring rates are better at the more prestigious colleges. When looking at “averages” like starting salary, consider who the typical student is. Starting salaries at tech-heavy schools are going to be higher than your standard liberal-arts college, simply because more students are going to go into higher-paid jobs.
3) The best research is often at state schools. What? State schools? Yes, the top research programs in engineering, the sciences, and many of the social sciences are all in state schools. You can study with world-class professors whether you go to a big-name private school, or the school around the corner.
I don’t know whether these facts will help, but tell your son to think about it this way: The key to success is to put yourself in the right environment. Regardless of how “good” or “prestigious” a school is, if your son doesn’t like it, he won’t have the support he needs to do well.

Good Luck!

-Babs

Are private college counselors worth it?

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Dear Babs,college counselors
A lot of my son’s friends are applying to colleges in the fall, and some of them have hired “private” college counselors. What do they do? Is it necessary? My son already has guidance counselor-will a private counselor give him a leading edge?
-Counselor-Curious

Dear C.C.,

Private college counselors are all the rage now-yet the jury’s still out on whether they are worth the money. Many parents are choosing to hire private college counselors because they feel like their children are not getting the individual attention they need from their school’s guidance department. Unlike harried public school counselors who may only be able to meet with the child a couple times a semester, private counselors can as many times as you are willing to pay them.

And pay them you will. Counseling typically starts at $1,500 a semester, and some firms have been known to charge as much as $40,000 for a two year program. Students can expect to get college essay help, interview tips, and encouragement. Whether this translates into an acceptance into a top-college is unclear. Some counselors claim that they have ties to prestigious schools, but there is really no way to verify this. Private college counselors, unlike their school counterparts, do not need to be certified. NACAC, the National Association for College Admissions Counseling, does provide certification for private counselors. If you do decide to go the private counselor route, look for their stamp of approval.

Private college counselors can be an asset to your child’s college search. If the counselor has legitimate networks into top-schools, and inside-experience in the college admissions office, they can provide some important insider knowledge. However, there are more affordable options for essay help and SAT prep that probably produce the same results. Try to objectively look at your son’s guidance department, and if you think they are significantly lacking in resources, perhaps start “window shopping” for a private counselor. Just remember that there is no guarantee that the money you spend will buy your child a college acceptance.

Good Luck!
-Babs