MOOove over American Idol, Kelly Clarkson Puts on a Whale of a Performance
Thursday, March 12th, 2009Many of us watched American Idol last night in awe as Kelly Clarkson hoofed her way onto the stage.
Beep. Beep. Oversized pop star in a black muu muu coming through!
Now we’ve all heard of the freshman 15 in college and we’ve all let ourselves go once or twice. But for a second I thought she might mistake Ryan Seacrest for a Sour Patch Kid and scarf him down. No such luck. Instead, we were left to watch Clarkson perform her new song, My Life Would Suck Without You while we guestimated her current weight in our heads.
But as rough as that billowy bolt of fabric she wore looked on camera– I’ll give Kelly credit when its due. Her delivery rocked and her impeccable vocals blew a winded and lackluster Kanye West out of the water.
However, her star performance was shadowed by a blitz of pregnancy rumors surrounding the curvaceous Clarkson. Questions about Clarkson’s sexual preference are perculating as well with bloggers speculating that she might be gay.
While we’re fine with leaving Clarkson’s personal life to herself, it’s pretty hard to ignore how much her public image has changed since she first landed in the Idol limelight.
We scoured the archives to compile this photo-journey of Kelly’s highs and lows. In pounds.
In some of the newer ones we kinda see Rachael Ray! Oink oink!

ROCK-hard abs!

Skinny as a Microphone

Hmmm, getting a bit more pudge-licious!

Lookin’ healthy! Radiant skin.

Horizontal stripe horror show.

Cankle alert! Cankle alert! Who wears T-strap sandals when your hoofs are beefy?!

Entering: Large Marge Territory
Well, I guess we can all take a note from Kelly and hit the treadmill. (Yes Randy Jackson, that includes you, dawg)
Until then, I’m happy sitting here, licking the Doritos cheese off my fingers in the bliss of anonymity.














It seems to be working considering you’re worth a reported $200 million. That’s a lot of pounds for a not-so-jolly Brit who dropped out of high school and didn’t even try 

