Eau de College
Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, and Sarah Jessica Parker are all celebrities with their own perfume line. But what would it be like if some of the nation’s most famous colleges got their own signature sent?
Elitess. This refined fragrance is made of a blend of arrogance and pretension, with a top-note of cold hard cash and an underlying whiff of violet. Let everyone know that you are part of the elite.
Les Bruins No. 1. Blue jasmine and golden orange blossom layer with sweat and a hint of Hollywood ambition. Out-of state applicants need not apply… behind their ears!
Hempathy. Save the world, one spritz at a time. A top-note of dreadlocks rounds out the heavy scent of self-righteousness, with just a hint of patchouli.
Eau de 2nd Choice. Revel in your mediocrity, ravish in your disappointment. Safe vanilla combines with a strong second note of Ivy, just for irony.
University of Wisconsin-Madison:
Liquid Sweater. Come out of hibernation with this intoxicating aroma. Essence of cheddar cheese blends with the subtle scent of stale beer-pong. Even Bucky himself won’t be able to keep his paws off of you with Liquid Sweater.
If you liked this article, check out the equally hilarious “Eau de College Football“. It’s oderrific.
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