Archive for the ‘Funnies’ Category

Keeping An Eye On Gen Y: We want to be more than your Bagel Girls

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

Ripples of controversy stir the ongoing Gen Y conversation. Everyone wants to analyze us, sell us, buy us, tame us or just plain knock some sense into us.

Yet, to make sense of us, you have to understand that “sense” is never really something Gen Y needed to tackle.
Why? That sounds crazy to you?
Hmmm, yeah well, try being us…

   GEN Y: Making our own sense since 1981!”

Picture a poster of a young lady talking into her Bluetooth with an iPod bud dangling from her other ear, typing a paper on her laptop while Facebook-chatting with her friend from abroad (they studied art together in Florence) and accepting image files via BBM of her neighbor’s fat pug dressed up in a Santa suit.

Wait, that’s not a poster…that’s me, right now.

Just your typical Gen Y gal on a typical Wednesday afternoon.
As Gen Y’s, making sense and putting order in our world exists as a daily (if not by the minute) learning curve. Not a birthright.
Surprising? Sure, when our elders think that amassing mega-self esteem from our doting parents and enjoying childhoods in times of unsurpassed economic flourish would make us predictable Gen X clones, unanimous in our wants and needs—
But the thing is, when you’re born with everything in your hands; the less you know and the deeper you struggle to find happiness and authenticity.
Rather than burned bras and fallout shelters, our childhood memories are of the MTV Real World, Mario Brothers and Keebler Elf variety.

“Are You Afraid of The Dark?” was as scary as it got and lucky timing let us trade in army drafts to Salute our Shorts.

I’ve had serious relationships with 7 cell phones, 5 computers and 4 MP3 players while my mother’s still locked in a stalemate with the alien DVD player.
Yet, I know I’m not alone when I say… it’s great to be a Gen Y.

Just ask (text or IM will work best) the other 25% of the population cruising in this generational star-ship. They’ll agree with me, firing back in the “wink-wink” emoticon form; that our battle cry and claim to fame has always been and will always be:

  We’ll figure it out.

We are scarily savvy, highly capable, diverse, nonconformist and trendy space shots. But love us for it and reward us instantly and shower us with the constructive criticism that we crave, because see…we want to be more than your bagel girls.

Yes, as Gen Y’s we may have been coddled and spoiled. But we’ve also been told over and over that we can “be anything we want”, “do anything we want” and we’d win prizes just for playing. And we listened. So remember, nobody puts baby in the corner!
Like most Gen Y, I stumbled out of my incubated, collegian bubble of self-expression to be blinded by harsh, 9-5 halogens illuminating a world of “in the box” thoughts. I took my first job out of fear that my dad would die of a panic attack if I didn’t secure proper health care coverage in 8 months. How’d it work out for me?

Let’s just say that wheeling around a cart of bagels and assorted spreads to execs every morning wasn’t exactly the starry gig I’d imagined my Honors degree in Journalism would land me.

The mindless admin paper-shuffle made me feel as dated and pathetic as my oversized, polyester skirt-suit.
It didn’t last long. As an insatiably-learning, idea-bursting, mentor-seeking Millennial I fled for freedom and the opportunity to contribute genuine bits of my-Y-self into any cubicle confines that were hiring for inspiration.

Before CampusCompare I bounced from several jobs and industries, no doubt waving an alarming, red flag to suspicious Gen X higher-ups.

Yet, as a flexible and fast-learning Gen Y, with each move I’m fine-tuning those natural talents that will be celebrated in my next position.
So, to my fellow college and work-force bound Gen Y’s I say this:

You alone know your worth and the limitless value of your abilities. You alone grew up in a world of hi-octane stimulation and unending entertainment– and you adapted to filter out the constant distractions while navigating the landmines of B.S. that surround you.

Stay true and tuned in to your innate frequency and if you can’t find an environment with big enough amplifiers, just create your own.

Cause destiny ends with a Y.

Gen Y vs. Gen X

Rappin’ up our Essays!

Friday, November 28th, 2008

The college application process is almost coming to a close! But before you declare ”It’s a wrap!” take a look at our essay contest rap, CampusCompare style. Be sure to submit your essay to us before you send it away to the schools for your chance to win $200 to Amazon and a 30-minute essay editing consultation! Click here to go directly to the essay contest page.

Top 10 Things to be Thankful For

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, we figured that we should take a second and reflect on what is truly important this holiday season. Now, I’m sure everyone has a lot to recognize but here are the Top 10 Things to be Thankful for this year:

10. Free Samples - How many times have you been starving walking through the mall, supermarket or wholesale clubs only to be saved by that tiny morsel of pasta, fruit or chocolate? A lot of people simply walk by or pass up the freebie and I’ve always wondered why. A lot of times, these measly scraps are enough to send my taste buds into a frenzy of savory, sweet and even umami sensations. My advice: never pass up a free sample. Why?! Because it’s FREE!!

9. George Foreman Grill - I’ve honestly never met anybody that either didn’t have a Foreman or didn’t know somebody who had one. It’s a great kitchen companion with a myriad of uses and applications. The best part of the appliance is that there are no temperature controls and no worrying about flipping or fires. Although I’m not sure if this is sound advice or not, you can use the grill for literally everything. I’ve created dozens of different plates including lobster, soup and even brownies.

8. ChapStick — How many times have you reached into your pocket and instantly felt relief just because of the presence of that little tube comprised of beeswax, menthol, petrolatum, phenol, Vitamin E, and aloe? There might not be anything more soothing than shellacking your lips with the cooling, slippery substance when they’re cracked and dry. On a side note - how awesome is it finding random and classic ChapStick’s from years gone by that were once lost and forgotten?

7. Pickles - From half-sours to baby gherkins, pickles truly are one of the most versatile and adaptable foods. We really do owe a lot to our ancestors in Mesopotamia from nearly 4,400 years ago, as they’re the ones responsible for creating this culinary masterpiece. Pickles are great to munch on straight out of the jar; they’re a great complement to any sandwich; and when they’re gone, the juice is as refreshing as the water from the fjords of Greenland.

6. Hand Sanitizer — Remember those lonely days in the bathroom when you would wet your hands and go to pump the soap dispenser only to find that it’s completely empty? Well what used to cause a panic attack for most is now an afterthought thanks to instant sanitizing products. With just one squirt of the transparent and goopy solution, 99.99% of common germs are annihilated. We all owe the people at Purell a warm and sincere “thank you”.

5. Ramen Noodles -Dating back to the Qing Dynasty, Ramen noodles have added pleasure to the lives of emperors, warriors and college students alike. As one of the easiest concoctions to prepare and one of the most inexpensive items in the supermarket, Ramen has a place in the heart of virtually everyone. Although many people are repulsed by this practice, I highly recommend eating the noodles in their hardened state without any cooking at all - simply dip in the seasoning and bon appétit!

4. Gummi Bears — While nobody should be in the dark here, a gummi (often gummy) bear is a small, rubbery-textured confectionery, roughly two centimeters long, shaped in the form of a bear. Originating in Germany in the early 1900s the traditional Gummi Bear is made from sugar, glucose syrup, starch, flavoring, food coloring, citric acid, and gelatin. The success of Gummi Bears has spawned many gummi animals and objects: worms, frogs, hamburgers, cherries, cola bottles, sharks, hippos, lobsters, octopuses, apples, peaches, oranges, and even smurfs. If you’re looking for extra indulgence, muddy up your bears with a kiss of chocolaty goodness.

3. Febreze - When Febreze was first introduced back in 1998, it revolutionized the air freshener industry. Since its inception, Febreze has monopolized the all important “fresh smell” business by creating ground-breaking new products like air effects, fabric refreshers, plug-in oils, and even scented disks. There is a place for Febreze in every room of every household.

2. The plastic thingy’s on the end of your shoelaces — I can’t even begin to tell you how many times this seemingly insignificant tool has saved my day. There have been countless instances when these plastic godsends are either cracked, worn down or completely unrecognizable and I have to search for a pin or paperclip just to feed the lace through the hole. However, when they are fully intact, they make tying your boots, shoes and sneakers as easy as loop, swoop and pull. As a side note - there have been breakthroughs in this industry, with the implementation of the metal thingy that never wears down or cracks; simply incredible!

1. Latarian Milton - This is my favorite child on the face of the earth. He does the kinds of things I only dreamed of doing when I was a seven-year-old. He really pushes the limits of those around him as well as law enforcement officials who have grown tired of chasing the young man around town in his grandmother’s SUV. He is a rambunctious, impish and mischievous boy of which his full capabilities are still unknown. I hope you all get a chance to get to know Latarian through his series of escapades, adventures and exploits.

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