10.  Craig Ferguson has been an American citizen for barely a year.

9.  Why listen to the news?  There’s no better place to get political information than from a candidate himself, like Stephen Colbert.

8.  CNN repeats the same stuff every hour.  Obama and McCain say the same things every day.  But at least Letterman and Leno only say the same things every other day. 

7.  We get more new and fresh political information from Tina Fey and Fred Armisen on Saturday Night Live than we ever could from Sarah Palin and Barack Obama themselves.

6.  The only people that are no-shows more often than John McCain on late night talk shows are his supporters.       

5.  CNN seems to reiterate SNL’s coverage of the election anyway.

4.  The American people believe David Letterman, Jay Leno and Conan O’ Brien are all more qualified to be president than either Obama or McCain.

3.  Because FOX News is about as fair and balanced as Bill O’ Reilly’s temper.

2.  Because a two-minute monologue on TV has many different jokes and a lot of entertainment value.  A two-hour presidential debate has no jokes and no entertainment value. 

1.  I’m tired of hearing networks talk about McCain’s problems with Colin Powell.  Men his age always have colon problems.   

Eager to get college out of the way and start your life in the real world? I don’t know why you want to rush the best four years of your life, but if you do, here are the schools with the 10 best four-year graduation rates. Not too many surprises here; these are among the best colleges in the country according to any ranking system.

10.  College of the Holy Cross (88%)

9.  Harvard University (88%)

8.  Princeton University (89%)

7. University of Notre Dame (90%)

6.  Georgetown University (90%)

5.  Carleton College (91%)

4.  Davidson College (91%)

3.  Swarthmore College (91%)

2.  Williams College (91%)

1.  St. Francis Medical Center College of Nursing (92%)

These schools must have the coolest dormitories in the country, because virtually nobody chooses to live off-campus.  I wonder if there is some set of rules that forces them into living on campus; a number of these schools seem to have something in common.
10.  DePauw University (99%)
9.  United States Coast Guard Academy (100%)
8.  The Citadel (100%)
7.  United States Air Force Academy (100%)
6.  Salem International University (100%)
5.  United States Military Academy (100%)
4.  Webb Institute (100%)
3.  United States Naval Academy (100%)
2.  Virginia Military Institute (100%)
1.  United States Merchant Marine Academy (100%)