Eau De College Football
I like to think that I have as much school spirit as anybody. I wore our colors, I cheered until my throat hurt and I spent my own money on every single ticket. However, as much as I love and appreciate my college days, if anyone ever asked me if I wanted to smell like my alma mater – I’d either laugh in their face or throw up in their face; or both.
As strange as that sounds, it is unfortunately true. A company called Masik is now creating perfumes and colognes that “…link a school’s essence and spirit to fragrance compositions.”
There are a number of factors that inspire the final result of these intoxicating tangs. The company lists many school-specific characteristics such as: school colors, mascot spirit, traditions and history, architecture and landmarks, campus trees and flowers, character of the town, mission statements and fight songs. Currently, Masik only sells fragrances associated with Penn State and North Carolina – with a few more slated to be introduced soon.
Take Penn State for instance. What Nittany Lion fan could resist walking into Beaver Stadium with the aroma of “blue cypress and black pepper” emanating from their pores? I’m not quite sure how the mission statement at North Carolina smells of “fresh Sicilian lemon and bergamot,” but apparently it does. With this in mind, let’s break down the soon-to-be released aromas as best as we can…
University of Florida – Inspired by the pungent and muddy odors radiating from the nearby Everglades, this signature scent was born from the instincts of Albert the Alligator and the universal attraction of bright orange.
U of F for Men is an offensive and noxious stench that encompasses the complex smells from both the basketball and football locker rooms. The fragrance opens with the slight whisper of a swamp extending into a more subtle odor, recognizable as stadium hot dog water upon closer examination. The root notes combine both lemon-lime and strawberry-kiwi Gatorade with the irresistible smell of the #1 Party School’s bathrooms after a tailgate.
University of Georgia – A captivating stink based on the university’s mission statement, UGA is perfect for those trying “To teach, to serve, and to inquire into the nature of things.”
When coupled with the odor exuding from their live mascot, Uga the bulldog, this cologne is virtually indescribable. There is an understated smell of rotting peaches that goes magically with the delicate aroma of black, one of the school’s principal colors. Your olfactory sense will be bombarded with undertones from Georgia’s architecture, history and spirit; which all smell, well, pretty good.
University of Alabama – Created with the color Crimson in mind, this fragrance really will have you seeing red.
Alabama is a provocative and insulting scent that instantly brings you to the plains of the Serengeti – where herds of elephants, like Bama’s mascot Big Al, tend to roam, play and “do business”. A hint of nacho cheese is easily detectable along with other stadium favorites like soft pretzels and popcorn. Beneath the dubious potpourri of snack food is a hodgepodge of more dominant odors stemming from the famed Arboretum on campus. Alabama’s native flora and fauna highlight the faint final notes. After all, why would you not want to smell like elephants, snacks and trees?
University of Tennessee – What sets this remarkable cologne apart is the focus on light orange. Drastically different from its bright orange counterpart, light orange smells of pumpkins, mild cheddar cheese and the bottom layer of candy corn.
By taking the character of Knoxville into consideration, the makers of this fragrance were able to incorporate the deep, malodorous flavors of pulled pork and baby-back ribs. Don’t be surprised when you first get a whiff of Smokey IX, Tennessee’s mascot – a Bluetick Coonhound. You’ll also be flabbergasted upon first diagnoses of the hints of magnolia, oak, and rhododendron – exemplifying the campus trees. U of T is perfect for virtually everyone – just make sure that the one you’re shopping for strongly prefers light orange to regular old orange.
As you start the college search and selection process, keep in mind that now you can smell exactly like the school that you choose. From musty old buildings on the quad to campus vegetation to mascots, there is bound to be a fragrance that best suits your preferences.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 at 2:37 pm and is filed under Articles, Athletic Associations, College Conferences, College Football, Just for Fun, Sports News, Uncategorized, in the news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
December 5th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
omg i am ROLLING ON THE FLOOR. this is hilarious. what a ridiculous idea!
December 5th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Love the idea!!! A friend of mine just got the UNC cologne and for her husband and says that it smells amazing. Looks like a nice high-end product for the people that love their school.
December 8th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
HA Will the make the Ole MIss cologne to smell like whiskey.
February 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
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