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Archive for the ‘top ten’ Category

Top 10 Tailgating Schools

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

Are you ripe with school spirit? Do you dream of completing a major in Mascot-ology?  Then a key ingredient in the recipe for your college love is tailgating.

If you’re a social stallion looking to surround yourself with ethustiastic, foam-finger waving fans, here’s a list of the top 10 schools to get your tailgate on.

The Top 10 Tailgating Schools:

10. University of Southern California — At USC, it’s all about beers, blondes and Bruins bashing.

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9.  University of Wisconsin — Yeah it’s friggin freezing — but all that cheese makes you weak in the knees and warm in the colon.

8.  University of Alabama — It’s a sweet home, yo.

7.  University of Colorado — Okay, so they’re not the best team out there—but after the game…drunk skiing!

6. University of Tennesse — The last time I saw that much orange was when I was cleaning up after Chester Cheetah stayed at my house.

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5.  Michigan — Kegs and eggs, baby. Kegs and eggs.

4. Auburn University — Don’t mess with these tigers…they’re GRRREEAT! And they’re 220-350 lb. stud athletes that could rip your face off.

3.  Louisiana State University — You better show up — Have you ever seen Les Miles angry?

2.  Ole Miss — Don’t forget your shirt and tie because these tailagters are classy. Just look at Eli manning — you can barely tell he’s an inbred

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1.    Penn State — If for no other reason, go to Happy Valley to see JoePa. There’s nothing funnier than watching JoePa rip the refs a new one.

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(Thanks to the folks at Tailgater Monthly for some great info)

10 Intramural Sports You’ve Never Heard Of

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

For many, intramural sports offer the perfect escape from the stresses and anxiety of college life. But, the physical vigor of softball, hoops and Frisbee isn’t for everyone - so here are the Top 10 intramural sports that you’ve never heard of…

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10. Cornhole - As one of the most intense games out there, Cornhole truly captures the majesty and splendor of tossing a beanbag (Side Note: Have you ever opened a “beanbag”? I’ve torn through hundreds in my day, and not once have I encountered an actual bean. Can’t we call it “small-plastic-pellet-bag” or “faux-bean-capsule-sack”?). Anyways, two teams stand across from each other and try to throw a faux-bean-capsule-sack through a hole on top of an overturned box. Different point amounts are awarded for hitting the box, landing on the box or, most impressively, getting it into the hole. The University of Kentucky was one of the first to offer such a sweet game.

9. Broomball - Basically, this sport is played just like hockey but instead of skates, a stick and a puck, the key components include rubber-sole shoes, a broom and, you guessed it, a ball! The object of the game is to score more goals than the opposing team and, if necessary, an overtime period follows regulation. There are even governing bodies for the game and there is speculation that it may be added to the Winter Olympics. An easy way to remember Broomball is that it’s kind of like curling, but it doesn’t suck. Scope it out at big-time hockey schools like Boston University and Colorado College.

8. Inner Tube Basketball - Taking college campuses by storm, is the advent of inner tube basketball. This game is exactly like its hard-court counterpart except it’s for lazy, out-of-shape people and under- conditioned athletes. Players sit in the tubes and splash the ball around the pool towards the basket where the points are ultimately scored. This game is a great alternative for students at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill; I mean, if you can’t play varsity for the best team in the nation, you might as well pretend you do in a pool! It’s a pretty fun game if you just want to say, “Sorry babe, I can’t, I have an inner tube b-ball game tonight.”

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7. Paper Football - You know how you would always get in trouble when your teacher caught you flicking that folded piece of paper around the classroom? Well, now it’s an intramural sport. A lot of people at the University of Central Florida have become enamored with the competitiveness and camaraderie associated with paper football. The idea is simple - you flick a folded paper football through finger uprights - and that’s it.

6. Noodle Water Polo - Water polo is a fast-paced, intense and often grueling game; but not when you’re straddling a 5-foot strand of foam. At Ithaca College, students love hopping in the pool and riding that noodle all the way to victory. Regular water polo rules apply, except that players are not permitted to leave their flotation device at any time - but you can whack people with your noodle, gross!

5. Pickleball - A derivative of badminton, tennis and ping-pong, Pickleball is played on a court with the same dimensions as tennis, but with a wooden paddle. Created in the summer of 1965, it’s no wonder that Pickleball is such a trippy sport. According to the USA Pickleball Association, or USAPA, the name came from a family dog named Pickles who would chase after balls and then hide them in the bushes. As a poor man’s racquetball, this sport is sweeping universities all across America and is huge at Emmaus Bible College. Nothing like some God and Pickleball!

4. T-Shirt Design - What gets your blood pumping like a good ole’ “Intramural Champions” T-Shirt Design Contest? Often the crown jewel and sole purpose of participating in intramurals, Virginia Tech has turned it into a cutthroat and ruthless sport. Participants compete to create and design the shirt that will grace the backs of every sport’s winners throughout that academic year. Some go over-the-top with sequins and glitter, while others prefer old-school favorites with simple graphics and text. My only question is: who designs the T-shirt for the champion of the T-shirt Design Contest?

3. Mario Kart 64 - There is literally nothing on Earth that can get the heart pumping like Mario Kart 64. The adrenaline will flow and the hairs will stand on the back of your neck as Mario, Koopa, Luigi, Princess and Toadstool battle it out for raceway supremacy. This intramural sport is especially great for those people completely against doing anything remotely productive or physical. Intramural Mario Kart promotes hand-eye coordination, dexterity as well as morbid obesity. Sign up today at USC!!

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2. Quidditch - Nope, it’s not just a fictional, mythical and completely ridiculous idea anymore; now it’s an intramural sport. Borrowed from the Harry Potter book series, Quidditch at Middlebury College is played high above the ground as players fly on magical broomsticks and try and score points as they chase the speedy and mysterious golden snitch. Sounds cool, right? Wrong. Instead of figuring out how to manufacture flying brooms, players took the easy way out and simply run with the broom between their legs. The Golden Snitch, unfortunately, doesn’t flutter and hide as in the film. As a replacement, teams pick a fast kid, dress him yellow and make him run for hours until someone can catch him. With Quidditch taking over intramurals all around the nation, it’s a matter of time until we start playing the fatality-friendly game of Rollerball too.

1. Sudoku - What is more fun than solving proofs and a little geometry? You guessed it, Sudoku! The University of Rhode Island held its first ever intramural Sudoku tournament recently. Teams of two competed to solve these brain-busting math riddles faster than their opponents. How about this riddle: What involves numbers 1-9, columns, rows and squares; and is probably the most boring and ridiculous idea for an intramural sport ever? I’ll let you think that one out while we talk about how dumb and preposterous it is to even mention Sudoku and sport in the same sentence, sorry. I mean, what happened to floor hockey or indoor soccer?

“I started doing Sudoku puzzles over winter break,” said one of the participants. “Since then I’ve gone through two books of them, each over 100 pages long. I just enjoy doing them!”

If I ever say that, please find me, and kill me.

The Legend of JoePa

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

Instead of Penn State hiring that hip, new ball coach, the Nittany Lions went another route; they hired an old ball coach with a new hip. The recent speculation about PSU parting ways with Joe Paterno dissipated the other day, when the legendary coach inked a new 3-year contract extension, keeping him at the helm through 2011.

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For Paterno, it has been a long and illustrious career, dating back to 1950, when he first came on board as an assistant coach for Penn State. A lot, and I mean a lot, has happened in that time period. As head coach of Penn State, he has witnessed astonishing technological advancements like the internet, cell phones, Snapple, CampusCompare, cloning and chicken nuggets. While some (Snapple and nuggets) are way more useful than others, it gives you an idea of just how much JoePa has seen and done.

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Right now, Paterno holds the record for most victories by a Division I FBS coach (323), most bowl game victories (23) and more undefeated seasons than anyone else in college football history (5). And, after hip replacement surgery just a few weeks ago, he received an early birthday present - a new deal. On Sunday, JoePa will turn 82-years-old - meaning that his latest contract won’t expire until he reaches the ripe age of 85. While most men his age prefer winters in Florida and munching Viagra by the handful, Paterno would rather patrol the sidelines.

In his 59 seasons on the Penn State football coaching staff, he has been through a lot. Some good, some bad and some absolutely hilarious. Well, in honor of all that is JoePa, here are the five greatest moments from his remarkable career…

5.  “The JoePa Song” - You’d be hard-pressed to find another college football coach who has his own song. Although this video does poke fun at Paterno, the coach has a great sense of humor and was able to simply laugh it off. Wherever you might be around University Park - chances are that you’ll be able to hear someone humming the tune or singing the words. At home games, it’s incredible to hear 107,282 people screaming the coach’s name out of awe, admiration and respect. When cheers of “Joe-Pa-Ter-No” reverberate around Beaver Stadium, you know who the fans are all about, whether or not the coach wears a diaper.

4.   “Road Rage” - You know how old people think that they can do everything themselves, even when they probably can’t? Whether it’s being stuck halfway up the stairs because of exhaustion or driving 12 MPH on the highway, our elderly friends frequently cause more frustration than gridlock in Los Angeles. JoePa, on the other hand, can do whatever he wants whenever he wants - even if it means stirring up a ruckus with the only people that drive worse than seniors: women! Although it almost came to fisticuffs, Paterno settled with a classier gesture — making fun of the lady. Check out this story from the Penn State Campus, where her season tickets must have been taken away faster than Britney’s kids!

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3. “Press Conferences” - For as long as anyone can remember, Joe Paterno’s press conferences often become a platform for mysterious grunts, moans and murmurs. Since we can’t pick just one such instance, this clip is a compilation of the greatest of Joe’s grumbling. From the sound of things, it seems as though Paterno has been hanging out with Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor a tad too often. If anyone can translate - you’ll get 50 gold stars!!

2. “Broken Leg on Sideline” - This only proves the tough, resilient and durable attitude that JoePa has come to embody throughout his career at PSU. On Saturday, November 4th 2006, Paterno wascollege sports involved in a sideline collision when University of Wisconsin wide receiver Andrew Quarless rolled over onto Paterno’s knee after being pushed out of bounds. Upon contact, he fractured the leg and for much of the third quarter, he was able to endure the pain and discomfort. Finally though, Paterno relented and was flown back to University Park to be evaluated by doctors. What a badass!

 

1. “Bathroom Run” - While the Nittany Lions were struggling with No. 1, Joe Paterno was struggling with No. 2. During the 2006 match-up between Penn State and top ranked Ohio State, Paterno was spotted sprinting to the locker room faster than Britney’s marriage ended (that’s 2!!). I remember watching this live thinking “What the hell is going on?” and wondering if the immortal JoePa was alright. Turns out, he was fine - the guy just had to use the little boy’s room. While people still speculate that he made it in time, but the stains on his pants prove otherwise.

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