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Archive for the ‘Just for Fun’ Category

The Rise & Fall of Tim Tebow, College Football Star for Christ

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

With all the “transgressions” flying around surrounding Tiger Woods, it seems that even the purest of the pure squeaky-clean athletes can turn out to be dirt bags. That being said, I wonder how long until we see the downward spiral of Tim Tebow.

For those of you out there who don’t know Tim Tebow, he is the Florida Gators star quarterback and one of the biggest names in college football. He has earned such accolades as 2 time All-American, AP Player of the year, a couple of ESPYs and last but not least, the Heisman Trophy.

The thing that really makes Tim Tebow unique is the fact that he is a devout Christian, and I don’t mean like how George W was a devout Christian - Tim Tebow is the real deal. Here is a guy who was born to missionary parents in the Philippines and was home schooled all his life. Talk about living a sheltered life!

So here starts my theory about the impending downfall of Tim Tebow. He is projected to go very high in the 2010 NFL draft, and as we all know: as soon as a kid goes pro, the world is his oyster.

I think as soon as he gets a taste of the gold plated Escalades and the abundant amount of strippers in whatever losing football city he goes to, he will find it harder and harder to quote John 3:16 and keep his pants on - I mean really, do you honestly expect someone who will have access to a private jet from Nike, or literally bags of cash from Gatorade to keep his humble life path following Jesus? Yeah neither do I.

So much of sports (from a fans perspective, at least) is about predictions, so rather than predicting tomorrows football scores, I’m going to be so bold as to predict the different aspects of the downward trajectory that will be the life of Tim Tebow, and I’m taking bets.

  1. He will go high in the first round of the 2010 NFL draft and then proceed to lead a loser team to another losing season. Before word sets in that he can’t win at the professional level, he will milk the hype to find him a bevy of loose women to establish secret relationships with. (50 to 1)
  2. He starts wearing dark sunglasses and far too much Ed Hardy apparel, and starts to alienate himself from his teammates on the Lions on his eventual team. (30 to 1)
  3. He develops a coke habit. (20 to 1)
  4. His career continues to suffer, and finds himself playing one season for the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL before signing a bargain basement contract with the always awful Buffalo Bills. (10 to 1)
  5. He retires a failure, and makes money participating in celebrity boxing matches, facing both Jose Canseco and Danny Bonaduce. (60 to 1)
  6. He fades into non-existence only to be resurrected when sports shows do their “Biggest Sports Busts” episodes. (100 to 1)

I don’t mean to be so bleak with my predictions. But if you have been suppressed from all the fun stuff you are supposed to get out of your system in high school and college and then suddenly given the world (namely gold plated cars and ladies), you are sure to be on a path to the bottom… As for Tiger Woods, I don’t know what happened there.

March Madness Money Makers

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

It’s no secret that college basketball players do not get paid.  What is a secret, however, is the net worth of the nation’s top squads, and what is being withheld from the players.  In an economy like today’s, I was appalled to see what kind of cash these programs are generating for their schools.  The richest of the rich, University of North Carolina, is again a favorite to reach the Final Four and cut down the nets.  And if the players win it for the school, they won’t see a penny.

march madness

How can someone determine what a college team is worth?  Well, figuring out the most valuable college basketball teams is based on the money that men’s basketball programs contribute to four important beneficiaries: their university (money generated by basketball that goes to the institution for academic purposes), the athletic department (the profit generated by the basketball program kept by the department), the conference (the distribution of post-season tournament revenue) and the surrounding communities (spending by visitors to the county that’s related to the team).

Based on those characteristics, North Carolina is valued at a whopping $25.9 million!!  And guess what, the ones that are generating all that money by playing well don’t receive any compensation whatsoever.  It’s outrageous that the star player, with his name on the back of the jerseys in the stands, won’t see a dime from those sales.  He’s the one putting the butts in the arena, selling tickets and, ultimately, generating revenue.

Because the Tar Heels have been to two of the last four national semi-finals, play in one of the most competitive conferences in college hoops, and have recognizable colors, they rake in the dough.  So shouldn’t the players, who actually  win the games, be entitled to at least a portion of the $26 million bucks?  Even if it’s just a few dollars a week for some pizza or a movie, these student-athletes work way too hard to be hassled with insanely strict NCAA rules and potential punishment.

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I’m not saying the players should split $26 million bucks, I’m saying that they should get a stipend to live a regular college life; when they aren’t busy making millions for the university of course.

March Mad-Libs

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Is your bracket already busted?  Don’t just sit there and whine, do something about it!! Here’s your opportunity to decide how the March Madness tournament will play out. Just fill in the Mad-Libs boxes to map your own road to the Final Four. It’s the perfect challenge for any beer-guzzling, shot-shooting, chick magnet like you.

START YOUR MADLIBS HERE!

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