Instead of Penn State hiring that hip, new ball coach, the Nittany Lions went another route; they hired an old ball coach with a new hip. The recent speculation about PSU parting ways with Joe Paterno dissipated the other day, when the legendary coach inked a new 3-year contract extension, keeping him at the helm through 2011.

For Paterno, it has been a long and illustrious career, dating back to 1950, when he first came on board as an assistant coach for Penn State. A lot, and I mean a lot, has happened in that time period. As head coach of Penn State, he has witnessed astonishing technological advancements like the internet, cell phones, Snapple, CampusCompare, cloning and chicken nuggets. While some (Snapple and nuggets) are way more useful than others, it gives you an idea of just how much JoePa has seen and done.

Right now, Paterno holds the record for most victories by a Division I FBS coach (323), most bowl game victories (23) and more undefeated seasons than anyone else in college football history (5). And, after hip replacement surgery just a few weeks ago, he received an early birthday present - a new deal. On Sunday, JoePa will turn 82-years-old - meaning that his latest contract won’t expire until he reaches the ripe age of 85. While most men his age prefer winters in Florida and munching Viagra by the handful, Paterno would rather patrol the sidelines.

In his 59 seasons on the Penn State football coaching staff, he has been through a lot. Some good, some bad and some absolutely hilarious. Well, in honor of all that is JoePa, here are the five greatest moments from his remarkable career…

5.  “The JoePa Song” - You’d be hard-pressed to find another college football coach who has his own song. Although this video does poke fun at Paterno, the coach has a great sense of humor and was able to simply laugh it off. Wherever you might be around University Park - chances are that you’ll be able to hear someone humming the tune or singing the words. At home games, it’s incredible to hear 107,282 people screaming the coach’s name out of awe, admiration and respect. When cheers of “Joe-Pa-Ter-No” reverberate around Beaver Stadium, you know who the fans are all about, whether or not the coach wears a diaper.

4.   “Road Rage” - You know how old people think that they can do everything themselves, even when they probably can’t? Whether it’s being stuck halfway up the stairs because of exhaustion or driving 12 MPH on the highway, our elderly friends frequently cause more frustration than gridlock in Los Angeles. JoePa, on the other hand, can do whatever he wants whenever he wants - even if it means stirring up a ruckus with the only people that drive worse than seniors: women! Although it almost came to fisticuffs, Paterno settled with a classier gesture — making fun of the lady. Check out this story from the Penn State Campus, where her season tickets must have been taken away faster than Britney’s kids!

3. “Press Conferences” - For as long as anyone can remember, Joe Paterno’s press conferences often become a platform for mysterious grunts, moans and murmurs. Since we can’t pick just one such instance, this clip is a compilation of the greatest of Joe’s grumbling. From the sound of things, it seems as though Paterno has been hanging out with Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor a tad too often. If anyone can translate - you’ll get 50 gold stars!!

2. “Broken Leg on Sideline” - This only proves the tough, resilient and durable attitude that JoePa has come to embody throughout his career at PSU. On Saturday, November 4th 2006, Paterno was involved in a sideline collision when University of Wisconsin wide receiver Andrew Quarless rolled over onto Paterno’s knee after being pushed out of bounds. Upon contact, he fractured the leg and for much of the third quarter, he was able to endure the pain and discomfort. Finally though, Paterno relented and was flown back to University Park to be evaluated by doctors. What a badass!

1. “Bathroom Run” - While the Nittany Lions were struggling with No. 1, Joe Paterno was struggling with No. 2. During the 2006 match-up between Penn State and top ranked Ohio State, Paterno was spotted sprinting to the locker room faster than Britney’s marriage ended (that’s 2!!). I remember watching this live thinking “What the hell is going on?” and wondering if the immortal JoePa was alright. Turns out, he was fine - the guy just had to use the little boy’s room. While people still speculate that he made it in time, but the stains on his pants prove otherwise.

I like to think that I have as much school spirit as anybody.  I wore our colors, I cheered until my throat hurt and I spent my own money on every single ticket.  However, as much as I love and appreciate my college days, if anyone ever asked me if I wanted to smell like my alma mater – I’d either laugh in their face or throw up in their face; or both.

As strange as that sounds, it is unfortunately true.  A company called Masik is now creating perfumes and colognes that “…link a school’s essence and spirit to fragrance compositions.”

There are a number of factors that inspire the final result of these intoxicating tangs.  The company lists many school-specific characteristics such as: school colors, mascot spirit, traditions and history, architecture and landmarks, campus trees and flowers, character of the town, mission statements and fight songs.  Currently, Masik only sells fragrances associated with Penn State and North Carolina – with a few more slated to be introduced soon.

Take Penn State for instance.  What Nittany Lion fan could resist walking into Beaver Stadium with the aroma of “blue cypress and black pepper” emanating from their pores?  I’m not quite sure how the mission statement at North Carolina smells of “fresh Sicilian lemon and bergamot,” but apparently it does.  With this in mind, let’s break down the soon-to-be released aromas as best as we can…

University of Florida – Inspired by the pungent and muddy odors radiating from the nearby Everglades, this signature scent was born from the instincts of Albert the Alligator and the universal attraction of bright orange.

U of F for Men is an offensive and noxious stench that encompasses the complex smells from both the basketball and football locker rooms.  The fragrance opens with the slight whisper of a swamp extending into a more subtle odor, recognizable as stadium hot dog water upon closer examination.  The root notes combine both lemon-lime and strawberry-kiwi Gatorade with the irresistible smell of the #1 Party School’s bathrooms after a tailgate.

University of Georgia – A captivating stink based on the university’s mission statement, UGA is perfect for those trying “To teach, to serve, and to inquire into the nature of things.”

When coupled with the odor exuding from their live mascot, Uga the bulldog, this cologne is virtually indescribable.  There is an understated smell of rotting peaches that goes magically with the delicate aroma of black, one of the school’s principal colors.  Your olfactory sense will be bombarded with undertones from Georgia’s architecture, history and spirit; which all smell, well, pretty good.

University of Alabama – Created with the color Crimson in mind, this fragrance really will have you seeing red.

Alabama is a provocative and insulting scent that instantly brings you to the plains of the Serengeti – where herds of elephants, like Bama’s mascot Big Al, tend to roam, play and “do business”.  A hint of nacho cheese is easily detectable along with other stadium favorites like soft pretzels and popcorn.  Beneath the dubious potpourri of snack food is a hodgepodge of more dominant odors stemming from the famed Arboretum on campus.  Alabama’s native flora and fauna highlight the faint final notes.  After all, why would you not want to smell like elephants, snacks and trees?

University of Tennessee – What sets this remarkable cologne apart is the focus on light orange.  Drastically different from its bright orange counterpart, light orange smells of pumpkins, mild cheddar cheese and the bottom layer of candy corn.

By taking the character of Knoxville into consideration, the makers of this fragrance were able to incorporate the deep, malodorous flavors of pulled pork and baby-back ribs.  Don’t be surprised when you first get a whiff of Smokey IX, Tennessee’s mascot – a Bluetick Coonhound.  You’ll also be flabbergasted upon first diagnoses of the hints of magnolia, oak, and rhododendron – exemplifying the campus trees.  U of T is perfect for virtually everyone – just make sure that the one you’re shopping for strongly prefers light orange to regular old orange.

As you start the college search and selection process, keep in mind that now you can smell exactly like the school that you choose.  From musty old buildings on the quad to campus vegetation to mascots, there is bound to be a fragrance that best suits your preferences.

Top 10 College Football Traditions - Part 2

Now that you’ve had a taste of the rich and significant history of College Football, these next five traditions are sure to get you going. After sifting through stacks and stacks of college information and analyzing hundreds of millions of college reviews, here is what our panel has decreed as the best traditions in College football:

5. Painting the Helmets Gold - Notre Dame is perhaps the most storied and well-known team in College Football. Because of that, you better believe that the Fighting Irish have their fair share of traditions and rituals. And although most people think that this story is merely mythical - the helmets get a real coat of 24 karat gold before every week’s big game.

4. Howard’s Rock and the Hill - It’s a sight to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. For roughly 40 years, the Clemson Tigers have made their raucous entrance into Memorial Stadium after touching Howard’s Rock and storming down the hill. Symbolizing the players’ intentions to play with everything they’ve got, this awesome arrival never fails to get 83,000 screaming fans to their feet.

3. Dotting the “I” - Ohio State is a perennial powerhouse and competes for a spot in the National Championship Game each and every season. The half-time festivities at Ohio Stadium culminate with the sousaphone player, rambunctiously and fanatically dotting the “I” after the marching band spells out “Ohio” on the field. The display sends 102,000 fans into thunderous and gaudy applause and cheering that lasts the entire second half.

2. Chief Osceola and the Flaming Spear — At Florida State University, they have one of the best pregame traditions in the entire country. Representing the Seminole Tribe, Chief Osceola mounts his faithful steed, Renegade, and plants a flaming spear into the ground at the 50-yard-line. With the players watching from the sideline, Chief Osceola spikes the fiery weapon on the logo at mid-field and then stares the opposing captains down as they make their way to the center of the field for the coin toss.

1. UGA the Bulldog - So it’s not the special affects or fierce animals that get the top spot here today. Instead, it’s the loveable little pooch from the University of Georgia named Uga. The bulldog is the seventh in a long line of real dogs to don the Georgia jersey and represent the school on the sideline of every game. Fans and players alike share a special bond with Uga as he even travels to certain away games in order to cheer on his fellow Bulldogs. After 50 years, the university still gets its dogs from the same lineage and family. Don’t let his cute exterior fool you though - he has a tendency to go after members of the opposing team.

Well, there you have it folks - the Top 10 College Football Traditions. From buffaloes to bulldogs, the search for college info and superiority continues. I hope this list helps you find colleges with deep and intense traditions…and a good party scene also!