5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Kids Pick the Perfect School
Vanessa Van Petten is the teen author of the parenting book “You’re Grounded!” She writes a parenting blog along with 12 other teen writers from the kid’s perspective to help parents. Her work as a young family peacemaker has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Teen Vogue, Fox 5, CBS 4 and much more!
Check Vanessa Van Petten out at: http://www.RadicalParenting.com
Picking schools can be tough. Students feel pressure to get into a great school, while still having it be ‘perfect’ for them. Parents also feel pressure because they want their children to make the best choices. Here are 5 tips for parents while helping their child choose the perfect school:
How to Choose the Perfect University
- Your Perfect is Not Their Perfect
Everyone has different qualities, quirks, differences and similarities that they like in schools. What is right for your child might not be the school that you would have chosen for yourself. Likewise, the school that is ‘perfect’ for them might be a poor choice for their best friends. It is important to set a level of expectation for yourself and your child. Be sure to keep checking in with yourself that you are not pushing your choices onto your child and that your child is aware that their choice is for them, and it might not be the same as their friends.
- Instinct Does Not Need Reasoning
The best way to help your child find the right school is to go visit the campuses and just sit on them. Go to the cafeteria, eavesdrop on a few conversations on the quad and see if your child feels like that school is right for them. Deep down we usually know if something feels right. Often times, this cannot be reasoned with. In fact, if you hear your child convincing themselves of a certain choice, like “well, I guess it has a good poli sci department, and the PE center is good enough…”, it is not the right one.
- The Difference Between Making it Work and Loving It
Many families visit schools with the “we could make this work mindset” not the “lets find the perfect fit mindset.” I often hear this kind of reasoning when the school is more conveniently located, there is a scholarship involved or a legacy at the school. If one of these issues is insurmountable, then it should weigh in on the decision, but mostly, a school should feel awesome to your student, not just like they could make it work if they had to.
- Prestige Can Be Confused with Perfection
High rankings, or great campus? Hopefully your student has the choice of both. But, often times students get into a ‘better’ school in terms of ranking and prestige, but feel better at another school. Four years of a bad fit is not worth the extra name kudos you will get from your diploma.
- Nothing is Set in Stone
Lastly, I want to mention what happens when you do not feel there is a perfect fit. Nothing is set in stone. People transfer, and schools look very different from the campus tours. Often times, kids who do not get into their first choices and end up at their second choices find a whole different school waiting for them.
Always remember to keep an open mind when you search for college and be supportive of your child during this time; it is one of the first major life decisions they will make on their own!
Check out our other articles on teens, parents and college at Radical Parenting. Are you radical enough? http://www.RadicalParenting.com
This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 at 11:59 am and is filed under Admissions Process, parents. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
